Every relationship leaves us vulnerable on some level: Most of us have unhappy memories of a former friend (or co-worker or family member) who hurt us or let us down. It’s especially true of romantic relationships because our significant others typically get to see the sides of us that nobody else does.
That’s why it’s especially hurtful to find out we’re involved with a cheater. It’s a terrible emotional blow: If the person who knows us that intimately isn’t satisfied, what does it say about us? (Spoiler: It probably says more about them.) Either way, if you suspect your partner isn’t being honest with you, knowing how to catch a cheater is a useful skill set. Here’s how Spokeo can help.
Step 1: Reverse Phone Number Lookup
Being secretive about incoming texts, or exaggeratedly nonchalant about them (“Oh, it’s just work again…”) is common cheater behavior. If you want to know who’s really sending those texts and calls, you can use Spokeo to satisfy your curiosity.
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Step one is to get the phone number, which can be a project in itself: Cheaters can be pretty defensive about their devices, but — let’s be honest — even a blameless partner is justified in making a fuss if they catch you snooping on their phone. One less intrusive tactic you can use for finding the phone numbers your partner is talking to is to look at the log on your joint phone bill.
Once you’ve got a number, though, the process couldn’t be simpler. Just go to Spokeo’s homepage and log in.
Click on the “Phone” tab, and enter the ten-digit phone number you’re looking for in the search box.
You’ll see a status bar for a moment or two as Spokeo searches for the phone number, and then the screen will display a page of results that looks like this:
You’ll see the person’s name, address and phone number, and be able to click through and see any public social media profiles associated with that phone number. It might also be a number registered to your partner’s employer (sometimes it really is work that’s constantly texting…).
Assuming it’s a person, it shouldn’t be hard to find them on social media or through additional Spokeo searches (name, address, email address). At that point, you should have enough information to decide whether this person is likely to be a threat to your relationship.
Step 2: Reverse Email Lookup
Finding out where your partner is active online can contribute either to confirming your suspicions or to setting your mind at ease. A lot of sites organize user profiles around a phone number and will turn up in a reverse phone lookup, but other sites use an email address instead. To find those, you’ll use Spokeo’s reverse email search.
First, click the “Email” tab on Spokeo’s homepage.
Enter in your partner’s email address. Spokeo will search billions of records from over 120 popular sites, including social media platforms and dating sites (surprisingly, it takes just moments). The search results will look like this:
There’s a wealth of information in the results. It doesn’t just bring back a list of profiles using the email address you’ve specified, it also provides usernames and email addresses that might be associated with that email because of correlations in the data.
Many people have more than one email address, and using a separate email for illicit activity is an obvious precaution. Spokeo can help you see past it.
Step 3: Searching for Marital Records
Sometimes the information you get from the first two searches will raise further awkward questions, like the possibility that your partner is already married and you are the one he’s cheating with. Marriage licenses are typically in the public record but tracking them down manually is a tedious and complicated exercise. Spokeo makes it quick and easy.
Go back to Spokeo’s homepage, and search your partner’s name. As you scroll down, you’ll see prompts offering you additional information through our Court Search or Historical Search service.
Click “Activate” on the Historical Search button and make the appropriate payment arrangements when prompted. Now repeat your search. On the sidebar you’ll see an overview of the search results, which looks like this:
Click the “Personal” tab to see the results with marriage and divorce records added in:
If you see a marriage without a corresponding divorce, that’s a pretty clear red flag. So is a serial pattern of short marriages and quick divorces.
(Tip: Activating the Court Search as well can show whether your partner has a history of encounters with the law, which is also useful knowledge).
Step 4: Broadening Your Net
Searching your partner’s basic information on Spokeo is a cumulative process because each search brings up new information you can use for your next search. Each “possibly related” email turned up on the email search, for example, can be the subject of its own search.
You can also use third-party tools to bring in new information. Most people are deeply attached to two or three better-than-average photos of themselves and use them repeatedly (sometimes for long enough that they become downright deceptive). Copy a few of your partner’s favorite pictures and search them using Google’s reverse image lookup.
If the results include a lot of dating profiles with your partner’s face and a username that sounds like something they’d use (you know him as James, and there’s a “Jimbo93” with his face on a dating site), then you may be onto something. Search that username from Spokeo’s homepage and see what you find.
Please Use Our Tools Responsibly
Before you begin your quest for evidence, take a moment to assess your own motivations and the likelihood that your partner is cheating. There’s a fine line between legitimate concern and stalkerish behavior, and being on the wrong side of that line can make it difficult to maintain a relationship. If you have a friend or family member you can trust to be both discreet and brutally honest, you might even want to turn to them for some impartial input before you get started.
At the end of the day, Spokeo has done its part by providing you with the powerful tools you need. It’s up to you to use them wisely.